To Be Alone, Or Not To Be Alone: Certainly Not Even A Question.

"This is what the contemporary self wants. It wants to be recognized, wants to be connected: It wants to be visible." (Excerpt from: "The End of Solitude" by William Deresiewicz)


Silence. Soak it in, I thought to myself. I've never had problems being alone, even as a child I remember developing an appreciation for solitude since it allowed me to freely run through my own thoughts, without the distraction of other people. It's slightly ironic, but the only problem I've ever had with being alone for an extended period of time, is the depth of thought I get myself into. Even sitting in my kitchen at home amongst my high volumed family, my mother will often catch me staring off at an awkward angle, and she knows that I'm only physical within my body at that place and time. 


So what to do with an hour of silence? Well I love to write, sometimes I feel it's the only way to escape the massive amount of thoughts whizzing past each other, at a thousand miles per hour in my mind. But is writing escaping this hour of solitude? Then my short attention span starts kicking in, and I'm cleaning my environment, ridding it of the clothes sprawled out on the floor.
Wow Brianne you're really not too good at this, don't move just think thing.


Deciding to refocus myself I jumped on my bed, closed my eyes, and let my mind drift. I wasn't actively thinking about any one thing, just thought channel surfing if you will-skimming the surface, but not looking for anything deeper than the superficial image or meaning. Drifting was easy, until it became too easy. Before I completely fell asleep, I sprung out of my bed and decided I would read a book. Is that cutting into the hour of solitude? I don't believe so. I have no problem being lost in thoughts for hours at a time, however being lost in my own at this point of my life, could bring about a nervous break down or something of the like....another author's thoughts seem incredibly safe in comparison.


To conclude my hour long solitude session, it was difficult, for one because I had to set aside time to create this isolated experience. I feel it would have been better if it just occurred at random, but the chances of it happening that way are astronomically low. It was easy because I am very accustomed to being alone. Many times, I have spent hours to days away from all technology, and just lived. Sadly, with the responsibilities I currently am the guardian of, being away from contact technology seems a far off dream, I'm not close to reaching in the near future. 


When I "returned" were there messages asking me where I was? Of course. Did I mind? Not one bit. 

"For the still, small voice speaks only in silence. Social life is a bustle of petty concerns, a jostle of quotidian interests, and religious institutions are no exception. You cannot hear God when people are chattering at you, [or] the divine word..." (Excerpt from: "The End of Solitude" by William Deresiewicz)