That's it, to listen you have to direct your five senses at someone and completely give yourself to the conversation. The conversation of his/her speaking and you listening. Think this isn't really a conversation? Consider this quote.
"Active participation does not preclude the active passivity of silence, stillness and listening: indeed, it demands it. Worshippers are not passive, for instance, when listening to the readings or the homily, or following the prayers of the celebrant, and the chants and music of the liturgy. These are experiences of silence and stillness, but they are in their own way profoundly active. In a culture which neither favors nor fosters meditative quiet, the art of interior listening is learned only with difficulty. Here we see how the liturgy, though it must always be properly inculturated, must also be counter-cultural."
-Pope John Paul II. Found on the back of the directive pamphlet for the mass held at the Pittsburgh Oratory of St. Philip Neri, on January 16, 2011 at 4:00 p.m.
It was funny how I ran across this quote, it was actually during the end of mass, while others were receiving the Sacrament of the Eucharist. I looked on the back of a mass paper program and silently read. Another funny aspect of the story is, at the end of mass, I not sure why I didn't put the program back, but I didn't. Perhaps it was because upon finding this quote, I had a small epiphany of what listening could consist of and attribute to. Intrigued, I folded the program over and placed it in my pocket, pleased with my finding. The program had since laid on my desk, awaiting use in reference for this blog post, I'm sure.
It seems only appropriate then that I would trial my new listening behavior during a one hour long Sunday mass celebration, thus this was my adventure. I learned one aspect of a mass, that never ceases to surprise me: homilies can be very hard to follow. I had to redirect myself just about every two minutes, all joking aside. That's how often I began to trail. I feel this stems from the Gospel's interpretation needing a considerable amount of explanation, that the celebrant must direct the congregation through. Thus, it's easy to get lost in the twists and turns this speech generates.
Upon paying closer attention in mass and listening more actively I noticed an increase in my own self dignity. There was a sense of modesty that came over me as I exited the Church. This was different from my experience of actively listening to a peer, when I felt I maintained and placed no threat on her human dignity by clinging to her every word, and soaking in each of her stories deeply.
Of course I enjoyed maintaining and respecting my peer, but from my own selfish human nature I found I really enjoyed the modest sense, the active listening experience, gifted me with following mass. It reminded me of a patient I once cared for. He was an older man, and I had cared for him for over 2 hours before I noticed he had a thick accent; once I noticed I made a comment.
"I like your accent. Why don't you talk more so other people can enjoy it to."
His response was a humbling one.
"When you speak, you already know what you are going to say. If you are quiet, you are more likely to learn something new. I would like to learn many new things, especially in a place like this one."
It has been over 2 years since I heard this man's words, and I won't forget how quiet I was for the remainder of the day, speaking only when needing to, hoping to learn more things, and be humble like my patient. Time passed, and proved old habits die hard.
Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this experience, both the peer listening experience we had in class and the self conducted experience outside of class. It is my goal someday to be an excellent public speaker, and also the most therapeutic speaker for my patients. This experience has been eye opening and I believe it will provide a great amount of benefits for all involved.
"It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes
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